My son, who is in 5th and has ADHD, has just been elected Vice President of his class. And yes he doesn’t take any medication. I refused to give my son drugs (speed). He, just like myself, had to learn how to cope with ADHD and gain control, something those children who are given drugs will never learn how to do.

So yes, my son, Mr. Vice President was labeled as a problem kid in 1st, 2nd, and for half of 4th grade. Yes he had a very good teacher his 3rd grade year and also the second half of 4th grade. This is the same child at age 6 in a rage of anger and lack of control threatened to hurt himself.

NOW HE IS VICE PRESIDENT OF HIS CLASS WITHOUT MEDICATION.

Don’t be a bad parent and give your child drugs.

Sorry about not posting lately, but I have been on vacation and went to a week of training (programming) and yes I was being lazy.

So I wrote post on my other blog about programmers who are right-brained that I think is worth mentioning here since this blog gets a lot of traffic from searches on ADHD + jobs. I have written or mentioned good jobs before, but this time I am focusing on some specific details. You might be asking, how can programming be a good job for someone who can’t seem to stay focused? Well, because most people have misconceptions about ADHD. The first being the people with ADHD cannot focus. ADHDers actually focus (hyper-focus) continuously for most part of the day. This is actually what happens when we are day dreaming, as we are so overly focused on what we are thinking about that we shut out the entire world. We also go into hyper-focus when we are playing video games, watching television, or when working on things we really enjoy. A second misconception is that we get bored easily, which does have some merit, but its actually not as simple as getting bored. It is actually that ADHD (aka right-brained) don’t have a creative outlet that lets our minds work how they were meant to. This second misconception is where I will focus this post.

As I have written in one of my other posts, an ADHD person can be successful in almost any job if they are given freedom. Their is a great essay written by Paul Graham here called “You Weren’t Meant to Have a Boss” that explains my thoughts about freedom better than I can myself. I am sure most individuals who are not technology savvy probably think you need to be a mathematician to be a developer. That once was probably true, but each day that is less so. I won’t go into here, but programming languages are becoming easier and easier to use do to things such as frameworks. Frameworks remove all the mundane task that developers use to have to do mainly each time they programmed something. And these frameworks are where ADHDers can make huge strides. A lot of people think that ADHDers are lazy and just don’t want to do work. This isn’t true. ADHDers actually just want things to move at a fast pace and don’t like dealing with details as they side track us.

So if you are someone with ADHD then look for a job that allows you to remove the mundane. For me I have chosen the creative route, which includes marketing, graphic design, and yes programming. They all provide creative outlets and FREEDOM. As far as programming I have chosen Flash, Flex, and now Ruby on Rails. All of these are mediums to me, which coincidently have frameworks that remove the mundane tasks so that I can let my right-brain flow with ideas without getting bogged down with to many details. To compare this to painting, working without frameworks would be like a painter having to mix each color, make their paint brush, and weave their own canvas. Ruby on Rails (aka ROR) is the perfect programming language for right-brained people (ADHD) because it allows you to easy get started developing functionality into your programs. If you are interested in programming, but never knew where to start here is a good tutorial that will get you up and running in no time.

So yes, even those with ADHD can become programmers, but we do have to still sit through the boring classes we don’t like in order to become successful. You can’t expect to become a good painter just by picking up a brush or you can’t become a great programmer without taking some math classes or computer classes. We need to learn the basics and the foundations first.

Very short post here. So my son has started a new public school as of January and he has dramatically improved his behavior scores already. I think their are a couple of reasons for the improvement that I think everyone can learn from here. First the new school is new. The school opened just 3 years ago so its clean, shiny, and has all new equipment. The school even smells new. Whether we like it or not or recognize it or not ADHDers are products of our environment. If things are old, tarnished, and messy our thoughts and actions will be the same. This is due to the fact that we are right-brained thus we less analytical and feel our way through life. I will post more on this in the week.

The other reason for the dramatic change is that my son has one of the most strict teachers in the school. His old teacher at the other school was a teacher who didn’t like nor wanted to discipline her students. She thought disciplining students was bad for their self-esteem. Its funny she wouldn’t discipline him in any way and wondered why he hadn’t improved. Hmmmmm I wonder what it could have been. I once told this teacher that if my son acted up in class that she should let me know and he won’t get to play baseball. She gasped and said “that is sort of mean”. That kind of wrapped up opinion on her and I stopped worrying so much about his behavior because if she isn’t going to change her tactics or do anything to help him then she can deal with it. So whats the message I am presenting here? Your ADHD child needs discipline…more than the average child. But the good news is they need it and want it. I still need this today in order to succeed. My wife is my constant discipline as she is very structured so it evens me out. Its kind of like having a compass you can check every so often to make sure your on course.

You need to be your child compass. Children, especially ADHD children, need and want discipline as it helps them function. They need to know what is right and wrong. This doesn’t mean spanking or verbal abuse. The best way is by removing privileges and not giving second chances EVER! We find positive reinforcement works best in our home, meaning your child has to earn video games, tv, or friend time.

So I was going over my statistics for my site and saw that several people are interested or looking for information on if a person with ADHD can control an ADHD test. I am going to assume here is that they are not interested in controlling the test via ESPN. Ok, just kidding ESP. I know bad joke. That line was in a movie wasn’t it? By controlling I am sure they mean being able to dupe the test or get through the test without showing signs of being ADHD.

Its been my experience that you can. The problem with the test is the test its self. I am sure there are several tests out there, but the test I have knowledge of is a computer based test, which is kind of like a video game. Video game? Video games = challenge = Hyper-focused. Hyper-focused is when an ADHD person is so focused or so channeled (pay attention to this word channeled for future posts) on one subject or one detail that they cannot hear or nor pay attention to anything outside that deep concentration of the mind.
When an ADHD person is in hyper-focus they can accomplish anything. This is also why ADHDer’s procrastinate in doing things is because they like the pressure or challenge as they can then easily get into hyper-focus.

Anytime I am presented with a challenge a video game, a test, or whatever else I can pay attention. That doesn’t mean that I don’t have ADHD (right brained). This goes back to the part of ADHD people don’t understand, we think in pictures or images. So until we can see the image in our head, not just any picture but the big picture, we cannot grasp the topic. I have several posts about on this subject so feel free to read those. Anyway the point I am getting at is if you want to create a test for ADHD then you have to create a test that does not provide visual and does not give a big picture view or present a challenge, but rather a test that is opposite all of these.

Most people think that ADHD people are lazy and when hard work comes they trail off into day dreaming. This isn’t the case. ADHDer’s trail off because of several reasons (here are a few):

1. Either the topic you are discussing is a detail that doesn’t matter so we checking out until a relevant topic comes along. Most of the time we aren’t checking completely out we are hyper-focusing shutting out your discussion in order to concentrate on the bigger picture. I challenge ADHDer’s and non-ADHDer’s to get a book on systems thinking to help you understand how we think.

2. We are not able to get a mental image of the big picture of what you are talking about. Again since we are right brained,think and see in images or pictures, if we can’t get that mental image then we struggle. Since most of society, school systems, and organizations are set up for the majority, left brained, then we struggle in these environments and situations. Again another challenge is to read the “Thinking in Pictures”. This is the book I highly recommend everyone read.

3. Another reason is we just go into hyper-focus to try and solve the problem or learn something. Or brains work differently than left-brained people who are vertical thinkers. The best way to understand this is to read “Lateral Thinking” by Debono.

I can say for me, most of the time I am all three all at once. So to wrap things up, yes, we can control the test or maybe its more appropriate to say we can controller ourselves during these tests via hyper-focusing on test/challenge. If you really want to test for ADHD make sure you don’t present it as a challenge, no video games/computer games, make it no visual (so wordy) and make it extremely overly detailed and boring. Oh, and make sure there are no patterns in the questioning, make it random. Or better yet just sit the person in a class room in the any U.S. public school system, with only one recess and watch if they trail off or day dream.

Or go the reverse, put the person in a room and have them come up with a way to solve world hunger, fix Dell’s struggling business model, or end pollution, but from a strategic way and via brainstorming and being innovative, creative, and inventive. Those that trail off, struggle, or come up with the incremental idea’s are those without ADHD (left-brained).

Hope this helps.

So for the past 6 years I have been using music to help me concentrate while at work and during studying/reading. As I am sure those with ADHD will tell you, we pick up other peoples conversations and other background noises even if we try not to. What happens is while we work we can’t concentrate on our current task because when the ear picks up the noises and passes them to the brain our brains then convert the words from conversations or the noises into images in our heads. So if we hear someone a couple of cubes down say, “Have all the TPS reports been sent with cover sheets?” our brains make us create a visuals image of the TPS report. This is what happens with those with ADHD (right brained). Our brains have to convert words to visual images so the word car becomes a visual of car in our brains. The same goes for noises. When we hear a noise we have to create a visual image of what it was, but, unlike words, this is something most people do.

So in order not to be distracted, I have been listening to Classic Masterpieces for the past 6 or 7 years. I can’t listen to anything with lyrics as the words cause my brain to create visual images, kind of like my own personal music video in my head (even opera). I find that piano based works from Beethoven, Bach, or Mozart works best, especially if I am reading a book. Again remember those who have ADHD and Autism have to turn words to images in our brains.

Sometimes when programming or working on creative task, such as graphic design, I listen to techno music as it speeds up my work and helps me concentrate since their are not any lyrics.

I have found that if I place headphones on my ears without turning any music on it helps me stayed focus, but not as much as with music, but it does still help.

I have also been experimenting with 9 year old son (without headphones), while he does his homework. One night he was struggling with getting started and staying seated so I put the music on and he finished his homework without moving around. Next time I will be trying headphones maybe starting with his ipod.

For those parents out that struggling with their children not doing homework I would try it out. Maybe even use a computer as a music player so they can’t move without losing the music. You may want to start without the head phones so they get used to it. Maybe even turn in on all the time to fill your house with it. If you just through some headphones on them with classic music they may complain and ask for 50 cent. So just baby step and give a couple of months as they may think the music sucks or is dorky. It may take them awhile to get used to the type of music, but masterpieces are called masterpieces for a reason. They will start liking certain songs as you can’t help it.

So I ran across this statement while conducting some more research on ADHD.

Research has shown that ADHD is often accompanied by other brain-related problems. The findings of genetic studies indicate a strong correlation and a genetic link between ADHD and a number of other disorders. These disorders include: conduct disorder, adult antisocial personality disorder, criminality, mood disorders (anxiety and depression), substance abuse and obsessive-compulsive disorder

Ok, duh! Maybe the link is because schools are not set up for those who think differently (right-brained, visual learners, etc…), which means those who think differently and learn differently don’t fit in the system. We struggle with the mundane, slow pace, and generic teaching style teachers use. So when we start struggling and the teachers can’t or don’t change their curriculum and/or teaching style we get yelled at, made fun of, or just shut down. This is the start of the spiral that leads to conduct disorder, antisocial disorder, criminality, mood disorders (anxiety and depression), and substance abuse.

Imagine if you, non ADHD (right-brained) people, went to work and were told to be creative and spontanious and come up with paintings, drawings, creative and innovative new products, or make some sales/ get some new accounts or just fly by the seat of pants in an unstructured environment with no routine. Or do that thing you know your not good at. Then when you couldn’t come up with those innovative ideas that combine several industries and technologies your boss stopped paying you complements, lowered your salary, was on your case for listening to closely and taking every word literally, and was sending you home with discipline tickets and bad reviews how would you feel? You would probably turn to alcohol or drugs (illegal and/or prescription), get depressed, become antisocial have some mood swings. Now imagine if you couldn’t leave that company or job for the next 15 years.

Oh, and then when you do leave that job, 15 years later, you are stuck in another system that is structured the same way.

You might break some laws or become destructive.

Idiots (not you the Dr’s who found these to be correlated)! You think they might be related?

Again we ADHD (right-brained) individuals are misunderstood and frustrated.

So having given some thought to my previous post and the advice I had given on forum I have come to the conclusion that parents who medicate their children are steering other parents the same direction so they will feel better about their own decision.

More and more I hear and see parents, who have medicated their ADHD children, immediately tell other parents “you should contact <insert doctors name> he will help your child”. What they are really saying is just have them take the pill it will make everyone’s life better (easy).

As I see it its like when you go to a party or to a bar and people who have already been drinking try to peer pressure everyone else into drinking or getting just as drunk so they don’t feel so guilty about it. So if or when another parent tells you to go see a doctor they know the doctor is more than likely just going to prescribe some pills.

Look at it this way. So your child doesn’t listen or follow directions or has to be told things two or three times (which is probably the case if you don’t have the correct parenting skillset) whats the big deal? Or so they throw fits. These can be cured with the proper parenting (future post on this coming up).

Honestly, it isn’t like they are killing people or burning cats (well I assume they aren’t). And no they won’t reach that point with proper parenting.

So I decided to give an advice post on Minti.com here
I give my advice based on my experience as someone with so called ADHD and with a son (possibly two) with so called ADHD.

If you look at the first level of comments by the fellow readers I am attacked from the start by those whom I can only  assume are having some sort of cognitive dissonance (buyer remorse) for putting their children on medication. They attack my advice then I get labeled as being aggressive or labeling. Seems like a lot of projecting of anger based on a decision they are truly not happy with. I don’t know you tell me?

Also the first level of comments are from readers immediately start giving statements they are right and my advice is wrong, yet I am labeled as not budging.

Guess its all part of the journey to get parents to understand medication is only hurting their childs success in life. I think we as parents place so much emphasis on things that don’t matter and lose site of the goal. Parents would rather put their children on drugs that can harm them than let their child fail a grade. Is failing a grade a huge thing? Why? What if they did fail a grade? Maybe they need to in order to be at an appropriate level for social norms. Maybe they are not ready maturity wise to move on. Maybe they started school to early. Not every child is ready by age 5. Maybe mentally, but may not have the social skills.

I wonder how many of these uncontrollable kids were at home with a parent everyday until they started school versus being socialized in a daycare facility where a parent or relative isn’t hovering over them smothering them. Children need playmates to learn social behavior you can’t throw them into the fire and then suspect success.

I honestly don’t get it. God forbid our children fail a grade.

So my son started back to school yesterday, fourth grade! First off, I can’t believe how fast time fly’s. A couple more years and he will be in middle school, wow.

This will be a quick post, but its something all parents with ADHD children should read. DON’T LISTEN TO YOUR CHILDS TEACHER WHEN OR IF SHE TELLS YOU TO YOUR CHILD SHOULD GET ON MEDICATION (DRUGS).

Your childs teacher has a conflict of interest. I am not sure how other states are, but the Texas school system (setup by no child left behind, thanks a lot Bush) is screwed up. Why it is screwed up is that teachers in Texas are rewarded on how well their students do on TAKS tests. These tests are kind of like SAT for younger children. So what do you think the teachers do? They only worry about teaching what the children need to know to past the TAKS test. So what happens? Children only end up learning what they need for the test and then end up forgetting it. By teaching this way its hard for children to get the overall concept or theory, which would end up helping them solve future problems or questions. It’s kind of like those people you knew in high school who were book smart, but couldn’t really get a joke or figure things out on their own.

Oh, getting sidetracked…sorry about that. So my son’s 1^st grade teacher and 2^nd grade teacher said my son was the worst behaved child they had ever seen. His first grade teacher told the story of her child and how she put him on one of those ADHD drugs that is now being found to cause liver or kidney problems…NICE. She couldn’t tell us to put our son on drugs, but she was sure hinting at it over and over and over.

My son ended 3^rd grade with one point shy of having straight A’s. He does still have issues with paying attention (see my other post about being bored), but his behavior grades are almost even with the rest of the class. All it takes is a little discipline and for parents and teachers to quit being so negative (still working on this myself). Your ADHD child is probably constantly told by his teacher that he is a screw up….well in those words, but your child probably feels that way. Again before you put your child on drugs please do some things to help your child besides looking for a quick fix. I know it might be hard for you to look into the mirror and tell yourself your parenting skills probably aren’t perfect and you need some help. Please get a copy of “Transforming the Difficult Child”.

Please disregard your child’s teacher when they start discussing a quick fix like drugs. Just because they have worked with kids for 5, 10, or 25 years doesn’t mean they know what is best for you child’s mental and/or physical health, as it just means they know how to teach. Their goal isn’t to do what is best for you child, but rather what is the easiest way to do their job and still get their rewards. That being said I do think teachers are underpaid, overworked, and lack the proper training on dealing with and teaching right brained children.

So my son is exceeding without being on drugs. Thanks Kelly and Shailagh for all your help!

[Updated 8/11/2007 lots of typos to fix]

Ever wonder why you, an ADHD adult or your ADHD child can seem concentrate on video games for hours, but can’t remember what you went in the other room to do? It’s because with games you get immediate positive and negative feedback and it’s a constant loop. ADHD people usually take careers or are more successful in environments that give constant positive feedback for doing good things. Usually sports or sales where they are rewarded with money for making a sale. People with ADHD also function better in an environment where they receive immediate natural consequences for their actions. Like burning your hand on the stove, it;s immediate and you can’t argue or get out of the pain.

You know that you or your ADHD child can probably talk your way or plead your way out of anything. In most families, this pleading usually causes parents to give in to their child when the pleading starts. As parents, this is the worst thing you can do for you child. By doing this, it can set your ADHD child up for a life of confusion and problems with the law. It’s important that you never set up false rules or unnatural consequences for you child, since they are intelligent and quick on their toes, they will usually find a way out of the unnatural consequences. This will warp their sense of right and wrong. Doing this may be hard on your child, and possibly even harder on you because you you love your child so much.

So how do you set up natural consequences? For example if your child leaves toys out, scattered over the house they will be stepped on, kicked, thrown away or all of the above. I know at first your child will howl like a wounded dog for hours the first time you crush a toy, but they will learn. You may have a slow learner and it may take a couple of toys, but they will respond. The same thing goes for leaving their bike out in front of the garage or out in the rain. The bike will end up getting rusty and then break, or you will run over the bike. Don’t buy them a new bike. Tell them that they should have not left it in the rain. Same thing goes for video games. If you ask them to shut the game off in two minutes (I suggest giving them a time frame) and they don’t, then walk over and shut the game and tv off. After losing a couple of world record scores on Pacman they will never forget this. So you might say,  shutting the Xbox off isn’t a natural consequence. You’re right, but it is immediate and can’t be undone. Oh, here is the tough one for me. If your child doesn’t want to practice his sport, then don’t practice but keep putting him the sport. Let him strike out 5 games in a row and then see if he wants to practice. And the toughest of them all is if your teenager isn’t doing well with grades and is going to flunk then let them, but keep them in school. Let them flunk a couple of years and see how quickly they straighten up. If they aren’t ready to be serious about school, then you aren’t going to be able to make them be serious. Plus, if they get the desire on their own, they will keep that desire for the rest of high school and probably college.

As far as positives go, you have to give your ADHD child positive feedback constantly, especially since they are probably not getting it a school where they are 70% of their daily lives. I know it’s difficult, as I struggle with it. After 6 months or so, you will remember. Give positive feedback on everything. “You are using great manners at the table tonight, how mature.” “You remembered to tuck your shirt in, good job” You held the door open for me, that’s great, you’re such a good young man.” This positive feedback will grow like a snow ball rolling down the hill.

I know these are things that hard to remember, but just take one day at a time. And remember, no second chances ever. Life doesn’t give you second chances and has natural consequences….you don’t want your child telling the police “don’t arrest me, I didn’t get my second chance. My mom gives me second chances”.